06 Sep Keep your head, keep your confidence

The most important counsel I gave to a friend and former colleague facing formal performance management was to keep her confidence and refuse to allow the situation to mess with her head. Yes, we talked about policy and process but, having the right mindset was crucial. Shortly afterwards, I thought what about other people who don’t have access to the advice and support my friend did. So I produced ten tips earlier this year, revising them for this post.

1. Keep your head, keep your confidence
Being managed under an informal or formal process is upsetting for most people. However, even though you may feel worried, scared, anxious or fearful, make the quality decision upfront to keep your head and keep your confidence. People who do, fare far better than those who don’t.

2. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and, slow to become angryIf your manager raises concern(s) with your performance or conduct, resist the temptation to jump right in and defend yourself. Instead, listen calmly. (I know it may difficult, but breathe deeply, you can do it.) Being quick to listen, slow to speak and, slow to become angry will help you to process and, clarify the issues so that you can determine a) how to respond appropriately at that point or, b) whether you need time a reasonable period to organise your thoughts before answering.

3. Remain professional at all times
It can be easy for emotions to overcome professionalism. If you feel your control slipping: go and sit quietly in a meeting room alone; go for a walk; find a private place and call a trusted friend or advisor; or request a short period of annual leave.  The point is this, employ a strategy that ensures you remain professional at all times.

4. Disagree without being disagreeable
Occasions may arise where it isn’t easy to get agreement or consensus on specific points. If this happens, avoid getting locked into an argument or unproductive narrative, instead, disagree without being disagreeable.

5. Familiarise yourself with the policy and procedure you are being managed under
Make it a priority to read and understand the relevant policies and process(es) so that you can respond in an appropriate and timely manner. If you require clarification on policy or procedure, speak to a member of your HR team, line manager or trade union representative. I recently asked someone who went through challenging processes what he had learned; he said, “Know your policies and procedures.”

6. Advisory support

Trade unions are an excellent source of advice and support. If you are a ember contact them sooner rather than later.  If you are not a member of a trade union, a colleague may accompany you to formal meetings.

7. Know the details of your case better than anyone else
Even with the best trade union representation, remember this is your contract of employment, and that should be a powerful enough incentive to become your best advocate. As someone wisely put it, ‘I am the busiest person on my behalf.”

8. Maintain confidentiality
Make sure you adhere to your organisation’s confidentiality requirements regarding who you can discuss the details of your case. If in doubt, speak to your manager.

9. Employee Assistance Scheme
Your employer may offer you support through an employee assistance programme. Employee assistance programmes are confidential services which provide short-term counselling and health and well-being services. These services may provide additional support to you beyond that which you may already have in place.

10. Reflect
On whether you could have done anything differently or if there are any potential lessons and, how you will implement them to improve your working life.  As for my friend, she did her part; she read the policy, and, was able to articulate at a meeting with her manager’s manager why it was not appropriate to proceed to the formal stage. She is now in a role that she thoroughly enjoys.

Remember to keep your head, keep your confidence – you’ll be glad that you did.

© Dawn H Jones
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Please note that this post does not constitute specific HR advice if you require help please contact an appropriately qualified professional.

Originally published 3 September 2018; updated 6 September 2020.